Archive for Appreciation & Gratitude
Boundless Nation
October 13th, 2014 • Comments Off on Boundless Nation Appreciation & Gratitude, Boundless Nation, Efficiency & Personal Growth, Inspiration, Positive Projections, Travel, Want To Change Your Life For The Better?
What to say about Boundless Nation?
Those who know me personally – as well as those who have continued to follow this blog despite having never met me – know that I’ve undergone a personal transformation. I’ve moved around, lived in interesting places, and challenged myself to create offbeat work and art. I’ve redirected my life’s path while being completely honest with myself along the way: honest about who I was before and who I am now, where I’ve been and where I’m headed. I’ve severed ties with negativity as much as possible, ended relationships from the past, and begun new ones, too. This personal transition can be best summarized by saying that I’ve required myself to gauge and identify what really matters most.
Through a great deal of hard work and hard-earned experience, my perception of myself has greatly improved over the past three years as well. And perhaps more importantly, I’ve remained to feel good and happy to be alive in all I set out to do. Sure, I’m not all sunshine on the daily; but overall, I’m pleased with what I have in life and optimistic about where it’s going.
So, as a result of this extensive reconstruction of my life, I’ve experienced a renewed focus to help others. Ten years ago as a college student, I was quite idealistic, altruistic, and concerned with serving others. Involved in politics and the non-profit industry, I believed I could singlehandedly influence the world with positive change. But, young and inexperienced, I over-estimated the likelihood of my individual impact – whether that impact was with regard to our country, the global economy, the environment, or even just the internet. So much has changed since then. I am different, the world is different, and yet, here I am.
I’m lot more realistic than I use to be. I’ve learned what it means to be humble. And I’ve failed at a lot of things without letting it be the end of the world. I’m softer, more understanding, and perhaps even a little more wise.
When it comes down to it, one specific experience served as the pinnacle for this major shift: 36 days, alone in a rural setting, watching the sun rise and set each day. It was a level of solitude that allowed me to peel back the layers of my life in a deeper way than ever before, forcing me to recognize the good and the bad. In the process, I let go of things that held me back from being the better person I wanted to be. The time I spent with no company other than myself signaled a restart; a refresh; a wake-up call to find a new, better way to progress. I haven’t been the same ever since.
And people noticed. I was a different person: happier, healthier, and kinder. Through various social circles, people began to reach out and ask what happened, and how they too might feel better about their own lives. As if the qualities I had taken on were not only benefiting the way I felt about my own life, it seemed to be infectious. It’s propelled me as things have unfolded over the last few years, raising my awareness for more people to feel better about themselves and their path.
The world we live in can be complex and unfair, making it extremely difficult to maintain a sense of balance and purpose in the face of harsh external realities. Maintaining your own emotional, spiritual, physical, and mental balance – especially in the areas of work, family, and interpersonal relationships – requires constant monitoring. It takes great dedication to cultivate your own sense of happiness, and even more dedication to sustain it. Because of this fact, I suspect there are many who don’t know true happiness: to wake up with it everyday, for extended periods of time, feeling calm, healthy, and excited to be alive. Our personal burdens make it difficult to consider this possibility.
That’s what Boundless Nation is all about. It’s my attempt at spreading the happiness I feel, and attempting to help others help themselves. Everything that Boundless currently is, and could eventually be, comes down to the individual will. It’s up to each of us to find our own way towards whatever it is that truly sets us free. Then, we can be our best selves for ourselves and, ultimately, for each other.
I have great expectations for Boundless Nation – and with a healthy amount of reasonability, I’m putting it out into the world so that it may unfold to its greatest potential.
Here is the website and venture as it stands today:
http://www.boundlessnation.com/
Connect up, join the movement, be your best-self, and everything will be okay.
This is just the beginning.
Living My Whole Truth & Why I’m Moving
August 10th, 2014 • Comments Off on Living My Whole Truth & Why I’m Moving Appreciation & Gratitude, Efficiency & Personal Growth, Inspiration, Personal Writing, Positive Projections, Travel, Want To Change Your Life For The Better?
In a few days I’m moving from the Twin Cities where I’ve lived in various spots around town for the last 9 years. I’ve moved away before. In college I lived in the Caribbean for a while. My first job after college was in Washington D.C. working in the Senate. A year after that I lived in Austin, TX. Each of these moves were for different reasons and gave me some cherished life experiences and friends. Looking back now on the places I’ve lived in the past I can see and feel the distance between who I was then and who I am now. In some ways I’m not so different. I still have a lot of the same interests, mannerisms, beliefs, and the same kind of energy about me. But, the ways in which I’m different now are important and I feel more whole. I feel more complete in my being- if that makes sense. When I was growing up into my teen years and beyond into my 20’s I had a lot of confidence and didn’t fear much if anything. I was good at getting situations to end up in my favor. When looking back if I didn’t want to be completely honest with myself I could soften my perspective on my past by thinking of myself as a kind of energetic motivated eager charming fellow trying to make his way in the world. Which is partially true. But, if I am being completely honest with myself I’d also have to admit that my confidence wasn’t so benign and that more or less I had an ego problem. As in, I often actually felt like I was better, smart, or some other version of superiority than many if not most of everyone else. And that my motivations where often selfish. And my charm was a tool for manipulation. If I could get something from someone that I wanted, then why not? Although, I never took advantage of women. I hurt a few of them, but never intentionally.
Regardless my over active ego and manipulative charm work well for me for a long time. Generally speaking I got what I wanted, did what I wanted, and lived how I wanted. And I suppose I wouldn’t say I was a totally crazy ego-manic, but in the past I never would have or could have admitted that I had any sort of issue with it, mostly because I wasn’t self aware enough to even realize what I was doing. It’s just who I was. On some level I suppose I was born that way.
It took me a long time of failing and hitting a lot of the same walls over and over again to recognize the patterns that were showing up in my life and in the end finally being able to openly and honestly see my own part in them. It’s a super humbling experience to admit to yourself honestly that you’re a huge part of your own problem. It can hurt to look into the mirror and not have an excuse for the truth that is staring back at you.
The trick for me when I finally saw my whole self, the good parts and the bad parts was to not get too down on myself. Just taking it in for what it was. Seeing my own truth without putting any judgement on it. Taking stock of what was my reality. The reality that I had created and that I was living. And once I got to a place of real clarity and real honesty without judging myself I asked myself the only thing you can in that situation, which is, “What am I going to do about it?” Or rather “who am I going to be now?” My answer was simple. I wanted to become a better, more honest, more sincere, more humble, more healthy, and more happy person. I wanted to become the best person I could be.
My real hard look in the mirror moment happened about 3 years ago now. Since that time I have actually become a better person on some level in all of the ways I had hoped I could. And it’s a funny thing because the better you become and the better you feel the more happy you become and the more happy you become you just want to keep on going… and be as happy as you possibly can as much as you can. The feeling of deep and genuine soulful happiness is amazing. It has it’s own layers too. When you feel that way and you live that way things start to work out for you in amazing ways. People want to be around you. Other people want to help you. Strangers are nicer too you. Things line up for you. You feel lucky because you are lucky. You’re lucky to be so happy and so healthy- you’re alive. But, not just breathing, but alive in your whole being. You beam and everyone and everything around you knows it, feels it, and either loves you for it or tries to tear you down. But, when you’re there feeling super pure, super honest, genuine, good, kind, giving, loving, happy and alive – you are doing and being exactly what you were born to do. You were born to live in a way that makes you most happy that isn’t hurting anyone or anything else. That’s it. It’s so simple and I think we all know this, we all know somewhere inside of ourselves we’re suppose to be happy.
But, it’s funny how we get so lost in our lives. We chase other peoples dreams. We follow the rules of our society or our work place that we know are wrong. We lie and cheat and steal because we can get away with it. We overlook our flaws and over inflate our accomplishments. We do all kinds of things and live all kinds of ways so we don’t ever need to actually be completely and fully honest with ourselves because if we were it would mean we’d have to do something about it. It’s easier to pretend that nothing is wrong than try to fix something that might require a lot of hard work and pain in the process. But, if we all had the courage to admit our mistakes, admit our flaws, take ownership and responsibility over our own issues- the real things holding us back, we’d find out in the end that true freedom is on the other side of those walls. True freedom and happiness lives only on the other side of our own walls the ones we have created for ourselves. Your only limitation is yourself. It’s ironic really.
You can get there. I feel like I’ve made it. I’m happy. Not all the time and not everyday, but somehow I’m deeply happy in a way I never knew before and I know that it’s real. And living what I feel makes me want to see everyone else get here too. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about all of us feeling better. Being better.
So if I’m finally completely happy then why would I move?
Because now it’s time to celebrate. It’s time for dessert. It’s time to be free. And live exactly the way that feels most right. I’m living to fuel my happiness.
2013 – My Year Of Balance
January 2nd, 2014 • Comments Off on 2013 – My Year Of Balance Appreciation & Gratitude, Personal Writing, Positive Projections, Year End Updates
When I look back at my 2013 there are two fairly distinct thoughts that go through my mind. One being that the year seemed to go by more quickly than previous years. Of course the year did not go by any quicker, but I think it felt that way for me because I was more active in certain aspects of my life especially in my work. I worked a lot more in 2013 than I did in 2012 or 2011.
The other thing that stands out for me so clearly at the end of this year is how much I can see where my life is now was a part of a longer continuation over the last few years of a very deliberate, mindful, and intentional path I’ve been on internally, and in every other aspect of my life.
2011 was a year when a number of things hit a wall for me. Which of course had been building up for a handful of years leading up to that dramatic year when nothing seemed to work and I was getting hit from every angle. That build up and crash had happened to me before in other years and in other ways, but something was different and more final about it then. Without going into the longer version here (which I will share at some point in the future via a written essay) I will say that my response to this cyclical build up and crash was also different. In 2011, I took off. Like, really took off. In the fall of 2011 I spent close to 300 hours for 36 days in a row alone. Again, I’ll save the full story for another day, but having that experience changed my life and is an important part of the story behind my 2013.
During those 36 days I asked myself a lot of questions. Specifically, why is it that these ‘walls’ keep happening to me? What is the pattern here? Why is my life not working out how I want or have planned for it too? And after many hours alone I finally figured it out. The answer isn’t really that shocking. I realized, “Oh, I get it. All this shit that is happening ‘to you’ isn’t coming from some external place, no one, and no things are creating these problems for you. – You are your own problem.” Again, I finally got it. I realized that when I looked closely enough at my problems I could see clearly my own part in them. Once I finally could see things for what they really were from a truly open and honest place I had to decide what to do about it. For me, that answer came fairly quickly and clearly. I needed to change. I wasn’t too judgmental of myself and didn’t try to hide from my own issues either, but I was very humbled by the process. I had to look in the mirror and own the parts of myself that basically sucked. It is a hard thing to admit to yourself your own serious flaws and then commit to trying to do something about them. It’s embarrassing and can make you feel like a weak or even a bad person. I had extended moments where I thought, “Wow, I really am a bad person.” But, again, I got past that and realized that no, I wasn’t actually a bad person, I just needed to become a better person. The question wasn’t about how bad or good I was. It became about how much better could I become? That’s where I ended 2011. How much better can I become?
That question was my focus for the next year. 2012 was an amazing year for me with a lot of personal growth. I slowed way down. I became way more intentional about what I was doing with my life and why. I devoted more time to the people, places, and things that I cared about most. I continued to reduce my possessions. I spent more time outdoors and climbing. I became a much happier person and was even more honest with myself and with other people around me. I stopped trying to force things to work and was more open to the things that already were working. And I continued to ask myself the same questions over and over – how can I become a better person? I also started to feel a stronger and deeper sense of appreciate for all of the good things that were in my life my already. I found myself looking at small little things or moments in a more positive light and noticing things that in the past I would have surly taken for granted. Ultimately, I became a better more happy person. It felt like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders. The happiness I grew into during last year was more foundational than I had felt during other happy years in my life previously. It wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to say that in 2011 I finally ‘woke up’ to see things inside of myself and outside of myself from a more aware and honest place, or in other words I had experienced an ‘awakening’. And that in 2012 as I worked towards becoming a more happy and better person I was also becoming more spiritual.
Looking back over my 2013 I see how the shifts I had gone through over the last few years have carried over into this year and another level of happiness arrived for me. This past year I felt a type of balance I’ve never felt before. My life just flowed. All of the elements of things that I care about came together in my work, climbing, gardening, spending time with my best friends and family, travels, finances, and my daily life just came together. Sure, I had crabby moments, tired and hungry moments, some stressful days, and not everything worked according to plan. But, I was still happier than I’ve ever been in a deep foundational kind of way. And I still had many moments of overwhelming appreciation for just being alive. Sometimes I would take a drink of water and go, “Man, I’m so lucky to be able to drink clean water.” I’d almost get emotional about it. I mean, shit, I never use to be like that. I never thought twice about how lucky I am to be able to drink clean water. But, when you do think about it though, you know you are lucky.
Looking back on 2013 all I can see and think about is how unbelievably lucky I am to have lived this past year and experience everything that I did, in good health, with people that I love, and doing so many of the things I’m so passionate about.
I know that life changes, nothing stays the same, life isn’t fair, I will struggle, fail, and I will fall again, but I feel at least for right now, I’ve finally found my balance, my foundation, my happiness, and the right kind of appreciation for life. All I hope for this coming year is to stay mindful, awake, aware, and focused on maintaining my balance. And helping others find their balance too because happiness is worthwhile when shared.
2013 – My Year In Photographs – Part VIII: Weddings
January 1st, 2014 • Comments Off on 2013 – My Year In Photographs – Part VIII: Weddings Appreciation & Gratitude, Weddings, Year End Updates
During this past year I was able to attend a few special weddings and I was also honored with the task of officiating a handful of weddings as well. Below are images from some of these weddings and the memorial service for a close friend who passed away this year. Gay marriage was legalized in MN during 2013 and I was also lucky enough to attend two marriages that were formerly not legal in our state. It’s good to see that in some aspects of our society things can change.
My friend and fellow photographer David Mendolia took these great shots from Andy and Busola’s wedding one of the weddings I was honored to officiate this past summer.
Their wedding was outdoors in a beautiful location. I’m very happy for these two.
Another wedding I had the honor of officiating in 2013 was for Ryan and Karen. Their wedding was wonderful with a large gathering of friends and family in a very cool art gallery space. These two are a happy pair. Kate Sommers took these photos.
On a more sad note these images are from a memorial service for my dear friend Harry who passed away in 2013. Harry lived a good life and his memorial celebrated and honored him in a way that he would have appreciated with a gathering of friends, dogs, family, food, and stories. He will be missed.
Harry’s Daughter Kate listening as friends share stories Harry would have loved.
Here’s my sister Claire and I attending our mutual friends Jake and Chris’s wedding. It was a fun and grand affair!
They pulled out all the stops. The wedding even included ariel dancers!
Minnesota was the 12th state in the nation to allow for gay married in 2013. This was Jake and Chris’s ice sculpture to honor that milestone.
An Overview Perspective & The Power Of Meditation – Two Inspiring Films
December 28th, 2012 • Comments Off on An Overview Perspective & The Power Of Meditation – Two Inspiring Films Appreciation & Gratitude, Inspiration, Positive Projections
OVERVIEW from Planetary Collective.
Throughout much of the last few years and especially as we enter into 2013 I am thinking and feeling more in alignment with this type of perspective. We are all one species, on one living plant, in a very small piece of the universe. Now more than ever we have the responsibility to take care of ourselves and our plant in a sustainable way.
Unusual Choices: Ani Chudrun from Planetary Collective.
This was also a very powerful film for me. It reminds me that I cannot control the thoughts or actions of others and that no matter how I feel is the best way moving forward I can’t change anyone else. But, I can change myself and I can become better and that is in fact the best thing I can do for myself and for everyone else.
Two Talks For Your 2013
December 15th, 2012 • Comments Off on Two Talks For Your 2013 Appreciation & Gratitude, Inspiration, Positive Projections
Both these TED talks really connected with me at the end of my 2012. I hope to maintain these points of view into this coming year.
The Power Of Vulnerability.
Nature. Beauty. Gratitude.
2012 – My Year Of Deep Appreciation & Gratitude
December 15th, 2012 • Comments Off on 2012 – My Year Of Deep Appreciation & Gratitude Appreciation & Gratitude
For the last few years I’ve taken a day at the end of the year to sit down, reflect upon, and review my year gone by. I go through my calendar, my notebooks, my file folders, and my photos month by month and think about what I’ve done, created, experienced, and lived during the past year. When I start my reflective process I usually start with the vague feeling that I didn’t accomplish much. But, this year before I dug into my yearly review ritual I knew that wasn’t going to be the case for 2012. After my reflective review process I always feel better about my year because I usually have done more than I had remembered and this year was no different. In 2012 I experienced a lot.
When I go through everything I write down a list of the things I’ve done and experienced. I put each of these things into one of two categories: What went well this year? And What didn’t go so well? Sometimes an experience goes into both categories. Looking back on my year is a wonderful process because it gives me some pause to think about aspects of my life that feel right, are headed in the right direction, where good and positive experiences, and places I want to devote more of my energy towards in the coming year. It is also a great process for thinking about and reflecting on things that didn’t go well, negative experiences I can learn from, improve on, work towards cleansing from my life, and in some cases let go of, and move forward with a more clear head, heart, and spirit. Although this may not be important for everyone, taking time for deep reflection of my past year is a great way for me to get prepared to look forward towards the new year. It’s a centering process for me.
After my annual review is concluded I then begin the process of planning my goals, ideas, and hopes for the new year. I do this in a more formalized way on a spreadsheet with tools for measuring my progress during the year. I start each year with a reasonably detailed list of goals and an action plan. But, I am also always open to change and chance as my new year unfolds. If something better comes along than what was a part of my original plan I go with it. The key is making sure it really is a better path or choice. Getting side tracked can be just as tricky as knowing when a new opportunity is really an opportunity or not. Sometimes you never know, but having things written down to move towards in your future keeps you grounded and gives you a foundation to build upon. The idea of floating through life without any plans, goals, or direction sometimes sounds nice, but that isn’t what I want for myself and isn’t who I am. I like having a plan even if I decide not to stick to it because then my choices are measured against something. There is a reason behind my choices, they’re not random, there is a deeper thought behind my choices and my actions. By doing this I am being mindful, present, and aware of my life as I move forward.
That being said here are some photographs, stories, and reflections from my 2012. If you’ve never taken the time to reflect on your year gone by perhaps this year might be a good time to give it a try? What went well and didn’t go so well in your own life in during 2012?
Here is Lady modeling next to our tent home at Miguels Pizza the climbing homebase paradise in the Red River Gorge.
This is the aftermath of my tent chillin’ in the same spot for 5 weeks.
Me at the top. 110 feet… is a decent height in the Red.
It was raining and muddy most days, but it didn’t stop us from climbing. It was actually very relaxing to listen to the rain while climbing.
Climbing in the Red River Gorge
During January and February of 2012 I primarily spent my time working and taking care of the more mundane but necessary aspects of life. Although working, doing my taxes, cleaning, organizing, and being responsible doesn’t always seem fun I always feel better when my responsibilities are taken care of. Knowing my responsibilities are covered allows me to feel more free and live more in the moment when I’m not working.
Having all my responsibilities essentially covered for the rest of 2012, in March I took off to do something I deeply love – rock climbing. I spent 5 weeks at the Red River Gorge in Kentucky one of the very best rock climbing destinations in the world. My experience there was absolutely wonderful. I camped the whole time with my dog lady and my rock climbing buddy Dan (and later Erik) joined me. Together we met lots of new, interesting and amazing people, as well as, climbed our minds (and bodies) out! That area is incredibly beautiful and peaceful. Spending so much time there was very calming, centering, fun and really set the tone for the rest of my year. I will for sure go back to the Gorge in the future.
We start our seeds indoors in February.
My Dad and I till up the soil and add thousands of pounds of compost and manure.
We all plant the seeds according to the garden map we make during the winter. And we all take turns with the weeding, watering, picking, cooking, and eating!
This little guy liked our garden this last year too.
The Family Garden
My Dad, Step Mom, and I have planted a family garden each spring for the last few years. In 2012 we expanded our garden by adding a small fruit orchard that includes, apples, cherries, and plum trees. We also added blueberry bushes and expanded the main garden plot by another few hundred square feet making our overall garden essentially a small-scale farm. Like in previous years we planted somewhere around 75 varieties of vegetables. Also similarly to previous years we had an amazingly productive crop with the exception of a few items. The corn was robbed by animals, the onions, carrots, and potatoes didn’t do very well and some of the squash and melons were also hit by the squirrels. But, the 25 varieties of tomatoes, beans, beets, egg plant, broccoli, cucumbers, peppers, lettuce, etc. etc. and everything else did very very well. It was all as tasty and healthy as ever to eat!
It takes time, energy, and lots of water to make our garden grow, but it has been very worth it for me to do this with my parents. We start planting at the end of May and pull the last few crops out in late October.
This is what I came home to on my birthday this year. A sort of grand natural present to me and I appreciated it greatly.
Madeline Island
Every year since turning 16-years-old I’ve gone up to Madeline Island. In high school I lived there during the summer in a tent with my best buddy. Since then the island has felt like my second home- my home away from the city. Although I’m only able to get up there a few times a year now it seems like I’m usually able to make it up around my birthday in June. This year I went up for a week over my birthday and enjoyed my time, friends, and the beauty of the place as much as I ever had. The island holds a special place in my heart and a special place in the timeline of my life growing up. In 2012 I turned 31 on the island.
Here is an album of other images I’ve taken on the island in the past: Island Of My Youth
Client Work
In 2012 I created and completed a few commercial photo assignments. I also turned down a few projects with clients not in-line with my vision or life principles. My goal in my commercial work is to work with clients that believe what I believe and don’t just need what I do. I’ve had too many negative experiences in the past to work with clients whose principles aren’t in-line with mine. Along those lines, I did a project for and with the advertising agency Six Speed (an awesome agency filled with good folks – that sponsor my Clark Loves Me project). I also did a fun project for the clothing label Ann Taylor out of NY another great company to work with.
Clark Loves Me
Early in the summer I decided to start a new photography project. I wanted to do something that a wide audience could follow along with and participate in. I also wanted to do something that had a deeper purpose behind it, that wasn’t about me, or my work, but was focused on other artists. I love creating portraiture work and started the Clark Loves Me project as a way to feature others artists and their work while also getting to do something that I love. Over the years I’ve developed relationships with so many amazingly talented artists that I felt could use a little more attention. The Clark Loves Me project is my way of helping bring their amazing work to a larger audience. My goal was to feature a new artist each week for a year. I wasn’t able to stick to my goal, but as we move forward into 2013 I’m very excited to continue the project and keep featuring new artists for as long as I can. It takes me about 15-20 hours worth of work each time I feature a new person so at this point the project is still very much my own labor of love. But, the process, the final images, and the amazing people featured in the project keep me motivated to move forward.
A prayer wall in a small village deep in the Indian Himalayas. These amazing prayer walls were in every village I visited.
This was my room at the Kantipur Temple House where I stayed in kathmandu, Nepal. The staff and service there was amazing. All of the people I met there were humble and beautiful people.
Bandipur, Nepal. One of the most amazing places I’ve ever visited.
Bandipur had so many children running around. The city is very alive with amazing energy.
Chalk on a doorway in Leh, India.
On my way to Nubra Valley. An extremely high altitude cold desert. A very intense place to be.
A women tending her crops in a barley field in a small village at 15,000 ft.
Truth.
Standing at the top of the worlds highest motorable pass, Khardung La. Looking out at 18,379 ft.
A local Leh man baking flat bread in an underground oven. Price = 10 cents.
The village were I got extremely sick. And laid outside in the dirt through the night gazing up at a huge full moon while feeling like I was dying. A terrible and wonderful experience all at the same time.
Me and one of my best buddies Jasmine Pierce (an extreme sports athlete and ultra-marathon runner) and the rest of her crew at the finish line of the world’s highest altitude ultra-marathon race called: The High La Ultra.
Here’s a short film about it:
ULTRA MARATHON RACE: LA ULTRA – THE HIGH from Barry Walton.
Nepal & India
In July and August I went to Nepal and then India. I went to Nepal on a photo assignment to do aerial photos at Mt. Everest. That project was cancelled on me a day before I was set to leave and it was too late for me to cancel my travel arrangements so I went anyway and spent a few weeks traveling in Nepal. Although I lost a decent amount of income from the cancelation of the assignment I’m very glad I went anyway. When I got there I hired a driver to essentially drive me all over the country so I covered a lot of ground and experienced a lot of the culture. I saw and did so much it’s hard to summarize it all up. But, the whole experience was wonderful.
The second part of this trip was in India. The main reason for that part of my trip was to go and support one of my best friends Jasmine Pierce as I mentioned above in an insane extreme ultra-marathon race called The High La Ultra. And holy shit… what a trip that was. I spent 3 weeks with some of the best runners in the world in some of the most extreme terrain on earth. It was an adventure of a lifetime and even though I’ve done a lot of international travel in the past I was very ready to get home from the intenseness of India by the end of my time there. I enjoyed many aspects of India, my trip, and especially the people I met there, but I doubt if I’ll go back to India.
My sister and I hanging out in the fall.
Mike and Claire the lovebirds.
My favorite person in the world my little sister in her awesome wedding dress!
Claire and I sending off a lantern after the ceremony.
Newly weds!!!!
Trying out my first official Reverend duties. I was so honored (and nervous!) to officiate my sisters wedding.
My Sister’s Wedding
On October 6th my younger sister Claire and her now husband Mike Campbell got married. I had the incredible honor and privilege to officiate their wedding. I spent a good deal of time writing the ceremony and it went very well on all accounts. It was a huge moment in her life, for me, and for our whole family. My sister is my favorite person and my best friend and I’m incredibly happy for her and extremely proud of who she is. I’m so excited to see how her and Mike’s future unfolds. They are the definition of good people.
Farm School
In November 2011 through November 2012 I was in a farm business program created by the non-profit organization The Land Stewardship Project called Farm Beginnings. I drove to Duluth every other Saturday for a year to take classes and spend time on working farms learning sustainable farm business models and practices. My experience going through that class was absolutely amazing. I can’t speak highly enough of the program, instruction, resources, and people I interacted with going through this program. I took this class because I’m working towards starting my own agricultural venture and this class was invaluable to me in continuing to move my life in that direction.
The view from the cab of the truck I drove in 2011 and 2012. The inside of the cab is the same as your standard 18-wheeler and it shifts the same as well. These trucks are tri-axle dump trucks with shorter boxes than full sized semi-trucks, but have the same tag wheels, air horns, air breaks, and radios. You certainly could do a hell of a lot of damage driving one of these trucks. Especially with 35,000 pounds of moving weight behind you.
Last year I learned how to drive the soybean combine 100% controlled by satellite navigation. You only have to steer when you turn a corner and the it automatically realigns itself to the field. The accuracy of these harvesting machines is within inches. The degree and level of technology that is involved in modern industrial farming practices is mind blowing.
A photo out the window of my dash in my truck at the piler where I dumbed the beets to be processed at the Crystal Suger plant.
A photo out the window of my dash at sunrise driving up to the beet ‘digger’. This is the farm implement that digs the beets out of the ground and loads them into the back of your truck. You drive your truck along the side of it to fill up your box to bring to the processing plant. You are driving in the field. Driving a huge and heavy truck a foot off a large machine in all kinds of weather conditions for 12-15 hours at a time can get to be difficult and stressful at times…
This is a picture of my uncle in 2011 getting some tools from the service truck. Each season of the harvest there are a lot of breakdowns and the equipment requires a lot of maintenance. All of the machines are working 24 hours a day and get beat-up in a major way. Farming at any scale isn’t easy.
Farming at sunrise. One of my favorite parts of doing this kind of work. During the rest of the year I don’t make a point of getting up for the sunrise. But, there is something very rewarding about working through the entire night and getting your second wind of energy from the first light of the day. It makes you feel like you’re a part of something bigger. You always feel like your day matters when you were there when the sun started it for you.
Learning to farm in the big rig. Big boy toys for sure.
Farming in North Dakota
During October of 2011 and again this October and part of November I went to work on the Weinlaeder Farm and Seed Company a seventh generation family owned industrial agriculture operation on a 5,000 acre farm in Drayton, North Dakota. Both years I’ve primarily driven a large tri-axle dump truck hauling suger beets from the field to the the Crystal Suger plant where the suger beets are processed into suger and then shipped to Pepsi Co. and Hershey’s to eventually become soda and candy bars. During the harvest we work 12-15 hour shifts for as long as the harvest takes. Each truckload packs in as much as 35,000 pounds of beets and we usually end up pulling 10-15 loads per shift. The 6 harvesting trucks on that farm run 24 hours a day.
Working on this farm for 2 years during the beet harvest season has been a very good experience for me on many levels. Generally speaking I don’t believe that large scale industrial agriculture is the best solution for feeding our society. However, these types of farms and the larger industrial food system wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t a consumer market to support it. And I don’t believe the way forward in creating a better world is by taking an all or nothing approach and writing of large scale farming as an entirely bad thing. These farmers would grow other things if the market demanded it and they care about the impact of their operation. I’ve learned a lot about industrial agriculture by working in it and know the farmers I work with on this farm are good people trying as hard as I am to make good choices.
Even though my belief is that smaller-scale more sustainable, diverse, and local farms are a better way to produce healthy foods for our society I am not an elitist about it and choice to do the only thing I can do to move society further in that direction. I support those types of ventures with my money. I try to support local food producers as much as I can because that is the way the world will keep moving to support their efforts.
It’s easy to blame the worlds problems on things you haven’t taken the time to understand. The hard part is putting into action what you believe is the right way forward without judgement.
I’m grateful for the time I spent farming in North Dakota again this year.
A part of my great-grandmother’s china cabinet that I cut in half and started to refinish with my dad’s help – a retired shop teacher.
My welding set-up.
Some of the lower steel frame in progress.
Testing out my measurements to make sure it would fit together.
Welding & The Re-mix Of Great Grandmother’s China Cabinet
In 2011 I went back to school to become a certified welder. In high school I to did some welding and wanted to get to a professional level. This past year I decided to do a creative project with my welding skills by cutting in half my great-grandmother’s china cabinet, refinishing it, re-mixing it, and welding a steel frame for it to become my new desk. I started the project last year, but it was one of those things the fell between the cracks of everything else I was doing and took me until this fall to finish. Even though it took so long to finish I’m super happy that I put the effort into it. There is something frankly bad-ass about working at a desk you built yourself make out of steel and your great-grandmother’s furniture. It feels like a part of my ancestry is now supporting my work. As if all of my ancestors are there with me while I work towards my future goals.
Lady
My lady. Lady is my avatar animal and my soul creature. She’s been with me through some rough stuff and loves me more than anyone or anything else in this world. She was with me just as strong this year as ever and is laying at my feet as I type right now. There is nothing more true in this world than the fact that a man’s best friend is his dog. Winter is Lady’s season and this winter finds her well.
Although it seems like a long time ago already. We essentially had no snow in January, February, or March of 2012, which was very strange and a clear indication of global climate change. It’s scary stuff and makes for a lame winter around these parts. I took this photo on my phone in the middle of February 2012 where the only place to find snow was in the shadows.
For the last couple years one of my good buddies and I have been looking for a treasure. A real treasure. It’s been an awesome adventure so far and a part of the process has involved getting our car stuck about 100 miles deep inside a forest. We were so stuck that it took us nearly an entire day to find a tow-truck company within 300 miles that could get us out. And the tow-truck company that came to our rescue was the most bad-ass tow-truck company in the world. This is their slogan. And it is all true. The treasure that my friend and I are looking for is worth a minimum of $60,000 and we’re getting closer…. Every little boy dreams of finding a real treasure someday. We will. We will. And when we do the little boys still inside of us will shine.
In November of 2012 Jesus and I voted Obama back in office.
This summer I made a lot of breakfasts with pouched duck eggs, local goat cheeses, lemon basil and heirloom tomatos from my garden, and pickled herring from lake superior.
This is perhaps one of the most powerful images I took all year – at least for me. And it’s still hard for me to fully explain, but I’ve said this to all of my closest friends and family – the mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical place I’m at right now in my life is almost overwhelming. I feel like I’ve crossed over into a new dimension. A place where I’m able to see things in my past, my present, and my future all equally, all honestly, from a point of view that is both inside myself and outside of myself, all at the same time. I actually feel like I’ve become something that is beyond the human experience I’ve ever known before. I feel completely awake, aware, and connected to the entire universe in a way that is like I’ve been given a new sense. Although this image isn’t very large and it’s only a record for you to see what I saw while standing there. Imagine for a minute what it would be like to walk in the clouds on top of a mountain and find this before you. This photo isn’t from a movie or a dream it is from a real place on this Earth and from my real life. A real place where I ended up alone on top of mountain in a cloud at sunrise because that is my life. And my life has become something I never imagined was possible.
I had heard the word Namaste before I traveled to Nepal. I knew it was something yoga people said, but I never knew the meaning of Namaste until this year. It means, “Bowing in appreciation of you.” Which is one of the most amazing thoughts I’ve ever encountered. It is the most humble thought a person can have. It is also something I finally feel like I fully understand.
Me under Buddha’s tree at sunset.
A day on a country road onward into the great unknown.
Life Lessons
As 2012 comes to an end I feel more than ever a deeper sense of appreciation for my life, my health, the love of family and friends, and for all of the wonderful, amazing, and beautiful aspects that is our universe. I am also even more keenly aware of the tragedies that surround and engulf us and our world on a daily basis. And I choice to use my awareness of these ills as a reminder and a fuel to live as rightly as I possibly can.
Poetically stated I recently read these words:
“When the solution to the world’s problems seems formidably nebulous, I’m reminded that the best place to start is always with and within myself.
By nature (or maybe by culture?), I am immediately drawn to the route of disenchantment, cynicism and finger pointing. But maybe that is the easy way out. Maybe the better challenge for me is to remain hopeful and awake, helpful and earnest, open-minded and equally willing to learn from things both tragic and beautiful, devastating and amazing. And to remain willing to try to be a point of light whenever I have the opportunity, with the hope that maybe, just maybe, it helps even one other person find his or her way—just as others have done for me. My prayers are for healing, comfort and serenity, and that when I start to yammer on about what I think needs to be changed in the world (which is often), that I can close my mouth for just a minute and remember to start within myself, as the oft-consolidated Gandhi quote goes:
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”
With that I offer you all nothing but my best and most humble well wishes as you move through your own lives this coming year.
2013 – here we are.