2012 – My Year Of Deep Appreciation & Gratitude
December 15th, 2012 • Appreciation & Gratitude
For the last few years I’ve taken a day at the end of the year to sit down, reflect upon, and review my year gone by. I go through my calendar, my notebooks, my file folders, and my photos month by month and think about what I’ve done, created, experienced, and lived during the past year. When I start my reflective process I usually start with the vague feeling that I didn’t accomplish much. But, this year before I dug into my yearly review ritual I knew that wasn’t going to be the case for 2012. After my reflective review process I always feel better about my year because I usually have done more than I had remembered and this year was no different. In 2012 I experienced a lot.
When I go through everything I write down a list of the things I’ve done and experienced. I put each of these things into one of two categories: What went well this year? And What didn’t go so well? Sometimes an experience goes into both categories. Looking back on my year is a wonderful process because it gives me some pause to think about aspects of my life that feel right, are headed in the right direction, where good and positive experiences, and places I want to devote more of my energy towards in the coming year. It is also a great process for thinking about and reflecting on things that didn’t go well, negative experiences I can learn from, improve on, work towards cleansing from my life, and in some cases let go of, and move forward with a more clear head, heart, and spirit. Although this may not be important for everyone, taking time for deep reflection of my past year is a great way for me to get prepared to look forward towards the new year. It’s a centering process for me.
After my annual review is concluded I then begin the process of planning my goals, ideas, and hopes for the new year. I do this in a more formalized way on a spreadsheet with tools for measuring my progress during the year. I start each year with a reasonably detailed list of goals and an action plan. But, I am also always open to change and chance as my new year unfolds. If something better comes along than what was a part of my original plan I go with it. The key is making sure it really is a better path or choice. Getting side tracked can be just as tricky as knowing when a new opportunity is really an opportunity or not. Sometimes you never know, but having things written down to move towards in your future keeps you grounded and gives you a foundation to build upon. The idea of floating through life without any plans, goals, or direction sometimes sounds nice, but that isn’t what I want for myself and isn’t who I am. I like having a plan even if I decide not to stick to it because then my choices are measured against something. There is a reason behind my choices, they’re not random, there is a deeper thought behind my choices and my actions. By doing this I am being mindful, present, and aware of my life as I move forward.
That being said here are some photographs, stories, and reflections from my 2012. If you’ve never taken the time to reflect on your year gone by perhaps this year might be a good time to give it a try? What went well and didn’t go so well in your own life in during 2012?
Here is Lady modeling next to our tent home at Miguels Pizza the climbing homebase paradise in the Red River Gorge.
This is the aftermath of my tent chillin’ in the same spot for 5 weeks.
Me at the top. 110 feet… is a decent height in the Red.
It was raining and muddy most days, but it didn’t stop us from climbing. It was actually very relaxing to listen to the rain while climbing.
Climbing in the Red River Gorge
During January and February of 2012 I primarily spent my time working and taking care of the more mundane but necessary aspects of life. Although working, doing my taxes, cleaning, organizing, and being responsible doesn’t always seem fun I always feel better when my responsibilities are taken care of. Knowing my responsibilities are covered allows me to feel more free and live more in the moment when I’m not working.
Having all my responsibilities essentially covered for the rest of 2012, in March I took off to do something I deeply love – rock climbing. I spent 5 weeks at the Red River Gorge in Kentucky one of the very best rock climbing destinations in the world. My experience there was absolutely wonderful. I camped the whole time with my dog lady and my rock climbing buddy Dan (and later Erik) joined me. Together we met lots of new, interesting and amazing people, as well as, climbed our minds (and bodies) out! That area is incredibly beautiful and peaceful. Spending so much time there was very calming, centering, fun and really set the tone for the rest of my year. I will for sure go back to the Gorge in the future.
We start our seeds indoors in February.
My Dad and I till up the soil and add thousands of pounds of compost and manure.
We all plant the seeds according to the garden map we make during the winter. And we all take turns with the weeding, watering, picking, cooking, and eating!
This little guy liked our garden this last year too.
The Family Garden
My Dad, Step Mom, and I have planted a family garden each spring for the last few years. In 2012 we expanded our garden by adding a small fruit orchard that includes, apples, cherries, and plum trees. We also added blueberry bushes and expanded the main garden plot by another few hundred square feet making our overall garden essentially a small-scale farm. Like in previous years we planted somewhere around 75 varieties of vegetables. Also similarly to previous years we had an amazingly productive crop with the exception of a few items. The corn was robbed by animals, the onions, carrots, and potatoes didn’t do very well and some of the squash and melons were also hit by the squirrels. But, the 25 varieties of tomatoes, beans, beets, egg plant, broccoli, cucumbers, peppers, lettuce, etc. etc. and everything else did very very well. It was all as tasty and healthy as ever to eat!
It takes time, energy, and lots of water to make our garden grow, but it has been very worth it for me to do this with my parents. We start planting at the end of May and pull the last few crops out in late October.
This is what I came home to on my birthday this year. A sort of grand natural present to me and I appreciated it greatly.
Madeline Island
Every year since turning 16-years-old I’ve gone up to Madeline Island. In high school I lived there during the summer in a tent with my best buddy. Since then the island has felt like my second home- my home away from the city. Although I’m only able to get up there a few times a year now it seems like I’m usually able to make it up around my birthday in June. This year I went up for a week over my birthday and enjoyed my time, friends, and the beauty of the place as much as I ever had. The island holds a special place in my heart and a special place in the timeline of my life growing up. In 2012 I turned 31 on the island.
Here is an album of other images I’ve taken on the island in the past: Island Of My Youth
Client Work
In 2012 I created and completed a few commercial photo assignments. I also turned down a few projects with clients not in-line with my vision or life principles. My goal in my commercial work is to work with clients that believe what I believe and don’t just need what I do. I’ve had too many negative experiences in the past to work with clients whose principles aren’t in-line with mine. Along those lines, I did a project for and with the advertising agency Six Speed (an awesome agency filled with good folks – that sponsor my Clark Loves Me project). I also did a fun project for the clothing label Ann Taylor out of NY another great company to work with.
Clark Loves Me
Early in the summer I decided to start a new photography project. I wanted to do something that a wide audience could follow along with and participate in. I also wanted to do something that had a deeper purpose behind it, that wasn’t about me, or my work, but was focused on other artists. I love creating portraiture work and started the Clark Loves Me project as a way to feature others artists and their work while also getting to do something that I love. Over the years I’ve developed relationships with so many amazingly talented artists that I felt could use a little more attention. The Clark Loves Me project is my way of helping bring their amazing work to a larger audience. My goal was to feature a new artist each week for a year. I wasn’t able to stick to my goal, but as we move forward into 2013 I’m very excited to continue the project and keep featuring new artists for as long as I can. It takes me about 15-20 hours worth of work each time I feature a new person so at this point the project is still very much my own labor of love. But, the process, the final images, and the amazing people featured in the project keep me motivated to move forward.
A prayer wall in a small village deep in the Indian Himalayas. These amazing prayer walls were in every village I visited.
This was my room at the Kantipur Temple House where I stayed in kathmandu, Nepal. The staff and service there was amazing. All of the people I met there were humble and beautiful people.
Bandipur, Nepal. One of the most amazing places I’ve ever visited.
Bandipur had so many children running around. The city is very alive with amazing energy.
Chalk on a doorway in Leh, India.
On my way to Nubra Valley. An extremely high altitude cold desert. A very intense place to be.
A women tending her crops in a barley field in a small village at 15,000 ft.
Truth.
Standing at the top of the worlds highest motorable pass, Khardung La. Looking out at 18,379 ft.
A local Leh man baking flat bread in an underground oven. Price = 10 cents.
The village were I got extremely sick. And laid outside in the dirt through the night gazing up at a huge full moon while feeling like I was dying. A terrible and wonderful experience all at the same time.
Me and one of my best buddies Jasmine Pierce (an extreme sports athlete and ultra-marathon runner) and the rest of her crew at the finish line of the world’s highest altitude ultra-marathon race called: The High La Ultra.
Here’s a short film about it:
ULTRA MARATHON RACE: LA ULTRA – THE HIGH from Barry Walton.
Nepal & India
In July and August I went to Nepal and then India. I went to Nepal on a photo assignment to do aerial photos at Mt. Everest. That project was cancelled on me a day before I was set to leave and it was too late for me to cancel my travel arrangements so I went anyway and spent a few weeks traveling in Nepal. Although I lost a decent amount of income from the cancelation of the assignment I’m very glad I went anyway. When I got there I hired a driver to essentially drive me all over the country so I covered a lot of ground and experienced a lot of the culture. I saw and did so much it’s hard to summarize it all up. But, the whole experience was wonderful.
The second part of this trip was in India. The main reason for that part of my trip was to go and support one of my best friends Jasmine Pierce as I mentioned above in an insane extreme ultra-marathon race called The High La Ultra. And holy shit… what a trip that was. I spent 3 weeks with some of the best runners in the world in some of the most extreme terrain on earth. It was an adventure of a lifetime and even though I’ve done a lot of international travel in the past I was very ready to get home from the intenseness of India by the end of my time there. I enjoyed many aspects of India, my trip, and especially the people I met there, but I doubt if I’ll go back to India.
My sister and I hanging out in the fall.
Mike and Claire the lovebirds.
My favorite person in the world my little sister in her awesome wedding dress!
Claire and I sending off a lantern after the ceremony.
Newly weds!!!!
Trying out my first official Reverend duties. I was so honored (and nervous!) to officiate my sisters wedding.
My Sister’s Wedding
On October 6th my younger sister Claire and her now husband Mike Campbell got married. I had the incredible honor and privilege to officiate their wedding. I spent a good deal of time writing the ceremony and it went very well on all accounts. It was a huge moment in her life, for me, and for our whole family. My sister is my favorite person and my best friend and I’m incredibly happy for her and extremely proud of who she is. I’m so excited to see how her and Mike’s future unfolds. They are the definition of good people.
Farm School
In November 2011 through November 2012 I was in a farm business program created by the non-profit organization The Land Stewardship Project called Farm Beginnings. I drove to Duluth every other Saturday for a year to take classes and spend time on working farms learning sustainable farm business models and practices. My experience going through that class was absolutely amazing. I can’t speak highly enough of the program, instruction, resources, and people I interacted with going through this program. I took this class because I’m working towards starting my own agricultural venture and this class was invaluable to me in continuing to move my life in that direction.
The view from the cab of the truck I drove in 2011 and 2012. The inside of the cab is the same as your standard 18-wheeler and it shifts the same as well. These trucks are tri-axle dump trucks with shorter boxes than full sized semi-trucks, but have the same tag wheels, air horns, air breaks, and radios. You certainly could do a hell of a lot of damage driving one of these trucks. Especially with 35,000 pounds of moving weight behind you.
Last year I learned how to drive the soybean combine 100% controlled by satellite navigation. You only have to steer when you turn a corner and the it automatically realigns itself to the field. The accuracy of these harvesting machines is within inches. The degree and level of technology that is involved in modern industrial farming practices is mind blowing.
A photo out the window of my dash in my truck at the piler where I dumbed the beets to be processed at the Crystal Suger plant.
A photo out the window of my dash at sunrise driving up to the beet ‘digger’. This is the farm implement that digs the beets out of the ground and loads them into the back of your truck. You drive your truck along the side of it to fill up your box to bring to the processing plant. You are driving in the field. Driving a huge and heavy truck a foot off a large machine in all kinds of weather conditions for 12-15 hours at a time can get to be difficult and stressful at times…
This is a picture of my uncle in 2011 getting some tools from the service truck. Each season of the harvest there are a lot of breakdowns and the equipment requires a lot of maintenance. All of the machines are working 24 hours a day and get beat-up in a major way. Farming at any scale isn’t easy.
Farming at sunrise. One of my favorite parts of doing this kind of work. During the rest of the year I don’t make a point of getting up for the sunrise. But, there is something very rewarding about working through the entire night and getting your second wind of energy from the first light of the day. It makes you feel like you’re a part of something bigger. You always feel like your day matters when you were there when the sun started it for you.
Learning to farm in the big rig. Big boy toys for sure.
Farming in North Dakota
During October of 2011 and again this October and part of November I went to work on the Weinlaeder Farm and Seed Company a seventh generation family owned industrial agriculture operation on a 5,000 acre farm in Drayton, North Dakota. Both years I’ve primarily driven a large tri-axle dump truck hauling suger beets from the field to the the Crystal Suger plant where the suger beets are processed into suger and then shipped to Pepsi Co. and Hershey’s to eventually become soda and candy bars. During the harvest we work 12-15 hour shifts for as long as the harvest takes. Each truckload packs in as much as 35,000 pounds of beets and we usually end up pulling 10-15 loads per shift. The 6 harvesting trucks on that farm run 24 hours a day.
Working on this farm for 2 years during the beet harvest season has been a very good experience for me on many levels. Generally speaking I don’t believe that large scale industrial agriculture is the best solution for feeding our society. However, these types of farms and the larger industrial food system wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t a consumer market to support it. And I don’t believe the way forward in creating a better world is by taking an all or nothing approach and writing of large scale farming as an entirely bad thing. These farmers would grow other things if the market demanded it and they care about the impact of their operation. I’ve learned a lot about industrial agriculture by working in it and know the farmers I work with on this farm are good people trying as hard as I am to make good choices.
Even though my belief is that smaller-scale more sustainable, diverse, and local farms are a better way to produce healthy foods for our society I am not an elitist about it and choice to do the only thing I can do to move society further in that direction. I support those types of ventures with my money. I try to support local food producers as much as I can because that is the way the world will keep moving to support their efforts.
It’s easy to blame the worlds problems on things you haven’t taken the time to understand. The hard part is putting into action what you believe is the right way forward without judgement.
I’m grateful for the time I spent farming in North Dakota again this year.
A part of my great-grandmother’s china cabinet that I cut in half and started to refinish with my dad’s help – a retired shop teacher.
My welding set-up.
Some of the lower steel frame in progress.
Testing out my measurements to make sure it would fit together.
Welding & The Re-mix Of Great Grandmother’s China Cabinet
In 2011 I went back to school to become a certified welder. In high school I to did some welding and wanted to get to a professional level. This past year I decided to do a creative project with my welding skills by cutting in half my great-grandmother’s china cabinet, refinishing it, re-mixing it, and welding a steel frame for it to become my new desk. I started the project last year, but it was one of those things the fell between the cracks of everything else I was doing and took me until this fall to finish. Even though it took so long to finish I’m super happy that I put the effort into it. There is something frankly bad-ass about working at a desk you built yourself make out of steel and your great-grandmother’s furniture. It feels like a part of my ancestry is now supporting my work. As if all of my ancestors are there with me while I work towards my future goals.
Lady
My lady. Lady is my avatar animal and my soul creature. She’s been with me through some rough stuff and loves me more than anyone or anything else in this world. She was with me just as strong this year as ever and is laying at my feet as I type right now. There is nothing more true in this world than the fact that a man’s best friend is his dog. Winter is Lady’s season and this winter finds her well.
Although it seems like a long time ago already. We essentially had no snow in January, February, or March of 2012, which was very strange and a clear indication of global climate change. It’s scary stuff and makes for a lame winter around these parts. I took this photo on my phone in the middle of February 2012 where the only place to find snow was in the shadows.
For the last couple years one of my good buddies and I have been looking for a treasure. A real treasure. It’s been an awesome adventure so far and a part of the process has involved getting our car stuck about 100 miles deep inside a forest. We were so stuck that it took us nearly an entire day to find a tow-truck company within 300 miles that could get us out. And the tow-truck company that came to our rescue was the most bad-ass tow-truck company in the world. This is their slogan. And it is all true. The treasure that my friend and I are looking for is worth a minimum of $60,000 and we’re getting closer…. Every little boy dreams of finding a real treasure someday. We will. We will. And when we do the little boys still inside of us will shine.
In November of 2012 Jesus and I voted Obama back in office.
This summer I made a lot of breakfasts with pouched duck eggs, local goat cheeses, lemon basil and heirloom tomatos from my garden, and pickled herring from lake superior.
This is perhaps one of the most powerful images I took all year – at least for me. And it’s still hard for me to fully explain, but I’ve said this to all of my closest friends and family – the mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical place I’m at right now in my life is almost overwhelming. I feel like I’ve crossed over into a new dimension. A place where I’m able to see things in my past, my present, and my future all equally, all honestly, from a point of view that is both inside myself and outside of myself, all at the same time. I actually feel like I’ve become something that is beyond the human experience I’ve ever known before. I feel completely awake, aware, and connected to the entire universe in a way that is like I’ve been given a new sense. Although this image isn’t very large and it’s only a record for you to see what I saw while standing there. Imagine for a minute what it would be like to walk in the clouds on top of a mountain and find this before you. This photo isn’t from a movie or a dream it is from a real place on this Earth and from my real life. A real place where I ended up alone on top of mountain in a cloud at sunrise because that is my life. And my life has become something I never imagined was possible.
I had heard the word Namaste before I traveled to Nepal. I knew it was something yoga people said, but I never knew the meaning of Namaste until this year. It means, “Bowing in appreciation of you.” Which is one of the most amazing thoughts I’ve ever encountered. It is the most humble thought a person can have. It is also something I finally feel like I fully understand.
Me under Buddha’s tree at sunset.
A day on a country road onward into the great unknown.
Life Lessons
As 2012 comes to an end I feel more than ever a deeper sense of appreciation for my life, my health, the love of family and friends, and for all of the wonderful, amazing, and beautiful aspects that is our universe. I am also even more keenly aware of the tragedies that surround and engulf us and our world on a daily basis. And I choice to use my awareness of these ills as a reminder and a fuel to live as rightly as I possibly can.
Poetically stated I recently read these words:
“When the solution to the world’s problems seems formidably nebulous, I’m reminded that the best place to start is always with and within myself.
By nature (or maybe by culture?), I am immediately drawn to the route of disenchantment, cynicism and finger pointing. But maybe that is the easy way out. Maybe the better challenge for me is to remain hopeful and awake, helpful and earnest, open-minded and equally willing to learn from things both tragic and beautiful, devastating and amazing. And to remain willing to try to be a point of light whenever I have the opportunity, with the hope that maybe, just maybe, it helps even one other person find his or her way—just as others have done for me. My prayers are for healing, comfort and serenity, and that when I start to yammer on about what I think needs to be changed in the world (which is often), that I can close my mouth for just a minute and remember to start within myself, as the oft-consolidated Gandhi quote goes:
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”
With that I offer you all nothing but my best and most humble well wishes as you move through your own lives this coming year.
2013 – here we are.